Somewhere, deep in the bowels of Troy Michigan’s Property and Zoning bylaw enforcement division building:

Clam chowdah sucks. There I said it. Fight me.

I mean, isn’t the 15-gallon chowder scenario the exact reason you would get an auxiliary chowder tank installed under the car opposite the gas tank?  Just hook your chowder hose up to the port and start fillin’

While taking my mom to some appointment, she remarked, “I wish cars could be equipped with a mechanical boxing glove like you see in cartoons to lightly punch the car in front of you. Or a poo gun. Like, a poop canon. To use against people that tick you off.”

“This is why I’m glad you don’t drive, Mom.”

There was an article today with a picture of him driving the postal Jeep. If the postal Jeep was defined as safe, no reasonably running car could be defined as unsafe.

“Only if I can get the Super Hurricane inline-six flathead motor running beautifully will I even consider tinkering on anything else. If the motor is shot, I’m towing this FC back to Michigan,”

That Buick is the most “New Mexico” car possible.

Here are the the details of most pointlessly idiotic and failure-prone road-trip I’ve ever planned.

Convenient that the firefighter was also a beekeeper...

Oh.....and while we are throwing out requests.....a buddy cop YouTube series featuring you and Sandy Munro.  Thanks in advance.

(For the record: I’m kidding. I won’t drive an unsafe car).

yes, because there’s very hungry dogs in the back seat.

This would be so, so easy to do with the high beltlines of today’s CUVs, which are at their highest aft of the C-pillar. Plenty of room to stow that glass behind the sheet metal. And make it power operated from the driver’s seat for all your contactless curbside deliveries when COVID-22 rolls around.

Torch, serious question.....can you PLEEEEEEASE do an article featuring a car designed from all your favorite items like this. Your own The Homer, if you will. The Torch.  Please? PLEEEEEEEAAAAASE????

This would actually suit my turboactive lifestyle pretty well. It’s not a huge pain in the ass to deal with in the city, but has somewhere that is not inside the cabin for lots of sloppy gear and bikes. If you’ve ever had to road trip with climbing shoes in the car with you, you understand.

People are supposed to haul bulk mulch in the back of their CRV, 10 bags/many gallons of herbicide or many gallons of gasoline in the same compartment as their kids, Do you have kids? Do you even have a house? There is project after project where the interior of my car gets smelly and dirty but I refuse to buy any of…

I concur,

“Just one more thing Ma’am. Jason’s last message before his death was something about ‘serving the readers.’ Did that upset anyone in the office?”

I want you to know it came up and I said this: