Don’t tell her Jesus was Jewish. I’m sure she believes Jesus was Christian.

As a person from Québec, let me be the first to say: That maintenance truck at the end of the video desperately trying to spread sand in a last effort before peril is fucking hilarious!! 

The cop was charged with DUI, because the witnesses agreed that he was absolutely plowed.

This is the United States of America. We just elected Donald J. Trump as our president. The term “slightest bit of street smarts” does not apply to very many of our citizens.

My grandparents have gotten that call four times this year. They quickly discovered it was a scam since they don’t have a computer or an internet connection for the “service” to detect an issue with.

“That Russian aircraft carrier is under attack!”
“Negative, sir; it just does that.”
“Oh.”

What do you mean?

Also naming your twitter “@real” as if you are famous.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

Just imagine how she is going to react when someone tells her where pistachios come from...

When the thought, “waiting for the right time to break it to the internet” crosses your mind, it’s a powerful sign that you have made poor life choices.

I agree that 0-60 isn’t everything, but most people that buy, I mean lease, a 4 cylinder Macan do it because they want people to know they have a ‘Porsh’. the Macan is a fantastic albeit overpriced performance CUV, but it’s an oxymoron, and compromised. 

Good thing the kitten wasn’t found by an aircraft mechanic, or we would only know about it from the gripe sheet.

Perhaps. But it’s pretty pathetic that an F-150 SuperCrew, for example, is quicker (5.6s)...

Got my cat in a similar way. I was living in Japan at the time, driving my 2008 Civic Type R, kitten I’m the middle of a 4 lane 50kph road. Stopped and tried to get him off the road, thought he ran away. He actually wedged himself in between my firewall and engine. Now I didn’t drive 300 miles, but got home that night…

Kitty is adorable.   Lt. Nick Grimmer is even more adorable!

But, but, but........emails!

I know right? It’s not like there were a billion articles leading up to the election reminding us that he was a crook.

I, for one, am shocked, shocked to find that Trump is a lying con man. Nobody could possibly have known.