Would the one-eyed horse Patch winning the Kentucky Derby be a big story or a cute story? We had this argument at work today and my thought was since he’s on the 20 position and missing his left eye AND 30-1, it would be a big story, but I was the only one who felt that way.

I, for one, cannot wait to see Philadelphia’s response.

It’s the meaningless bowl games now, sure, but the first time some big old hoss from Ohio State or Alabama does it to protect his neck from the playoff games, you can bet your bottom dollar the kids will finally get a chance to get paid for making these universities untold riches.

“Hey there. Name’s Max. Max Rich, I should say. It’s a name and a way of life, my friend. Say, where do you summer?”

“Look, we all know that people do things, okay? You get accused of things. One guy, he was accused of killing his ex-wife and this kid, you know who I mean, but we all know that guy could really tote the rock, right? I mean, you have to look at the WHOLE picture, guys.”

Since the M’s bullpen hovers somewhere between “dumpster fire” and “passable”, he better have a lot of innings in that arm.

Ben Wyatt’s boner can be seen from Tattooine.

My favorite celebration penalty is none of them. However, whenever an announcer says “he’s being penalized for using the ball as a prop”, I always wonder why Gronk’s spike isn’t hit for that, since he’s literally celebrating by using the ball as a prop in his celebration.

My son is also named Bortles, thankyouverymuch.

When Jerry Jones inevitably keels over after six too many G & T’s, the power vacuum to fill his dictatorial position will be relatively epic.

Has Simmons ventured into Lupica territory, in that he now apparently sees himself as “venerable”? It felt like the dig at Keri was intentional and mean-spirited.

“Dude, Who’s Monetizing My Fans’ Content?” or as I like to call it, An Intimate Evening With Darren Rovell and His Big Throbbing Cock

It’s fun to think about how hard it was to get a franchise quarterback before the spread and the run option took over college football, and coaches stopped having quarterbacks try to read a defense. Now, they come to the line, the coaches read the defense and then signal in what they want run. College football is…

They were just trying to make the game more romantic, or something.

God, they must have such a BONER to hire Golic and pair him up with, say, Mike Missanelli for the acclaimed nonsense, “MICHAEL AND MICHAEL”.

“What can we do to deflect away from the ‘team name is racist’ stuff, group?” ‘I’VE GOT IT - MCLOUGHAN USED TO BE A DRUNK!”

The gesture in question:

What’s a bigger problem for baseball - season length or individual game length?

It’s pretty simple. The thing that hurts him the most in the supporters eyes is that he isn’t Alex Ferguson.

I am *shocked and outraged* that a league that essentially operates as a cartel would have some ownership shenanigans going on as teams try to enter the league. SHOCKED AND OUTRAGED.