Wait you mean you were so eager to tell everyone how wrong someone who disagrees with you was, you didn’t get the basics of the story first? 2016 “journalism” in a nut shell.

The Browns still exist? BOOM ROASTED YESSIR STILL GOT IT

Yeah, they keep talking about sports.

I’m not saying the Mafia is still alive and well in Canton, OH and may have had a hand in the stadium construction and subsequent delays. I’m not saying that. I like my knee caps how they are.

But seriously if they had just issued a press release saying that - oh, I don’t know - the Colts won 23-17, would anyone have known the difference?

Say what you want about Draymond but at least his shaft didn’t hurt anyone.

Hope springs eternal

But he has weak character because he said his coach gave him money when the coach wasn’t supposed to be doing that. He’s a pot fiend and a snitch!

Out of the NFL? It’s not like he smoked pot.

Shoulda taken the guy who smoked weed in a gas mask.

Ezekiel Elliott is the Adrian Peterson you get when you can’t get Adrian Peterson.

On the plus side, the winner was Brock Turner.

The runner up prize was a date with Chesterfield striker Ched Evans. No one wanted it either, but I hear the club forced it upon some poor fan anyway.

Filed to Upsets.

In fairness, have you seen that tiny rhombus of a field that NYCFC plays on at Yankee Stadium?

Jesus fuck, Tim.

Alternate headline: “Asshole Dies For Doing Asshole Things.”

What’s the wager? I’ll put money on you can’t in 8 tries

True Americans don't shop at TJs on Fourth of July.

Fans don’t understand free agency because the money that could’ve been spent on educating them and giving them critical thinking skills was spent on building arenas for their favorite teams instead.