Cynic.

I can’t tell if the new app is just designed for a different demographic, but ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO BE ABLE TO SHUFFLE ALL OF MY MUSIC AND SKIP SONGS!

I’m in summer 2 of hairy pits. Def. used to feel like you, but as time goes on, I give less and less fucks.

For those who haven’t already, read “Escape from Camp 14”. Life in NK is horrifying.

I know. I have a lot of questions too. Why do crocodiles and penguins basically walk the same even though one walks on four legs and one on two? Why are macarons and macaroons two different things? If evolution is real, why has my cat stayed the same the entire time I’ve had her? Why are bees dying and why are all…

I got my Birkin a couple of years back. I never take it out and have just recently given it to my sister who was begging me for it. She doesn’t take it out either. Bottom line, even if your silly dreams come true, it’s just not cut out for reality!

Seriously. Good for you, but don’t humblebrag.

Don't humblebrag, it's unseemly.

The collection also included shirts that say ‘Team Bride,’ ‘Mrs.’ and ‘Bride.’

Before I scrolled down and saw her picture, I knew she was a black mother. This never happens to white moms.

Oh man! You don’t know what it’s like to destroy a child’s dreams!?! It’s seriously the best.

If you’re willing to be Sans Spawn don’t be so quick to start a countdown. Mr.R and I got married 2 years ago when I was 49. First for me, second for him. We had been, well something more and less than “fb”s for about 5 years then fell in love. 5 years later we got married at my grandparent’s assisted living facility.…

Maybe we as a society should stop upholding marriage as the absolute thing you must do or you are worthless slime. People would probably not marry out of desperation to be coupled with someone, ANYONE, if that were the case.

Damn. I read that as Serena and got excited. I would have loved some tennis goddess themed make-up. No disrespect to Selena.

This bear was THOUGHTFUL. He didn't eat the strawberry rhubarb because that would be RUDE. Everyone knows strawberry rhubarb is the best pie.

That settles it. Labia pants. No one wants labia pants.

So? You do realize that there are self-hating Jews, right?

save Uzo