This song is forever linked with the funeral service of Mo the dead fairy shrimp I grew for my students I taught science to. When Mo was the first to die, my one student insisted we have a funeral for Mo. We shared our favorite memories of him floating in the tank, we lit a memorial candle for him on the Internet, and…

in the realm of rich people’s wedding registry lists, this one is not really that out there.

You can do anything with any degree you get, as long as you got that degree because you are truly passionate about the field and have ambitions. With her connections she could have a really cool job in the art field, something that she enjoys doing and can turn into something useful. Art matters. But she has no…

True story. My sister once raised money to save the Brazilian Rain Forest despite the fact that she’s not, in fact, a marmoset.

Every Man Ryan Gosling pumps his own gas. Seriously, that shit is endearing.

Somebody proposed at my PhD graduation. I wanted to throw him into a pit of snakes and bees.

Two five year olds looking at each other’s wee wees are “Playing Doctor”. A 15 year old adolescent molesting a five year old is not. Never mind that there were multiple victims, multiple occasions over several years, and often the victims were originally asleep, so they weren’t ‘playing’ anything.

The third photo is a lesson in how you have to be careful how you are photographed when you are contoured as fuck.

How DARE you sully Jordan almonds in this manner? My local Amish market has them in their bulk section and they are delicious when not 3 year old leftover wedding favors.

This disgusts me but doesn’t surprise me. But it makes me feel ill inside. My older cousin did this to his sisters and I think me (though it was when I was so young its very hazy memory wise) and now as an adult because he now has a wife and children we are expected to welcome him back into the family because “he has…

Thank you for having the strength to share your story.

Why are these the only two people present for a bouquet tossing?

Can we talk about the costumes?

My mom is adorably clueless, and like a tiny sprite of a human being. She also dresses kind of masculine, has a pixie cut and is full of tattoos. So bearing that in mind, once my family was on vacation in Vegas. One of the days we were there, we signed up for a tour of Red Rock Canyon. Our tour guide was awful for…

because she is afraid if she would hire 2 female nannies JT would bang them.

Ehhh... Not shade.

One of my favorite Mall Makeover write-ups so far! I think you look beautiful both before and after, but I definitely miss the freckles in the after!

According to Jezebel (or at least two of the writers, I know Jezebel is not a monolith), yes. You must ALWAYS try to be original (but don’t try TOO HARD, it has to look NATURAL, and it has to be ON TREND while somehow being original, otherwise you’ll get mocked for that instead). God forbid you just want to blend in…