These discussions are always so focused on ourselves. Pregnancy by definition involves multiple people (a partner in reproduction who also consents to becoming a parent, a future child). Creating a whole new human being shouldn’t be a matter of “whoops”, and there’s no reason to be nostalgic about a time when it more…

those bolds are all his. I wouldn’t presume to bold a man’s words with my Jane Popcorn keyboard, etc

I just got back in from a dog walk during which I had to stop repeatedly to pick burrs out of my pooch’s hair. Why would anyone spend money on plastic burrs? WHY MARK?

Didn’t say it was bad—very pro nipples n’ pubes over here, as you can see in this article I wrote a few months back. It just implies a distinct backtrack in marketing direction.

“My girlfriend’s not funny”

Absolutely! I got the best skirt from Torrid this year. Ironically I was so happy that I could still fit into their 0s because I couldn't wear anything from Lane Bryant anymore. It covers from mid-thigh to above the belly button but it's fitted like a pencil skirt so it doesn't look like something your grandma would…

I lost like 100lbs and could really use like $15000 worth of plastic surgery to put everything back into place. But then I read the details of what they actually do and I’m like “nope, nope, nope.” High waisted bikinis and quarter length sleeves it will be for me.

why babby not mine

Gay was facing a maximum prison sentence of 15 years. “He’s going to be somebody’s — I hate to use the word ‘bitch,’ but that’s exactly what he’s going to be…so I am willing to put him on probation,” Judge Argyres explained. She gave Gay a final warning. “I’m willing to give you a chance,” she said. “You bow it, it’s…

For me, having a SO who has friends I don’t like isn’t a dealbreaker. People don’t always get along, and shouldn’t be forced to. So long as it isn’t ALL of their friends. EVERYSINGLEONEOFYOUISANASSHOLE may be a pretty clear sign that that person is not right for you.

If I have to do a subtle cheek sneak in order to finish eating comfortably, I’ll take the chance. But to flagrantly lift up and toot, that’s just crossing the line.

I firmly believe that if you genuinely enjoy it, then it is a Good Wine™. It might not be my favorite, but really, who the fuck cares? I certainly shouldn’t. Drink what you enjoy, always.

The issue here for me is that the ladies are at a Cava bar, which is specifically a place for that one thing. It’s like going to a Champagne bar and asking for red wine. Just... do you even know where you are?

She’s Toni Morrison. She’s naturally awesome.

For hard surfaces and plastics and metal, I’ve had great success with Scrubbing Bubbles and Magic Erasers.

I just wanted to date Agent Mulder or Pierce Brosnan. And by date, I mean fuck.

Something I do EVERY time. It works guys, just friends or not you look like a million bucks and thoughtful as hell.

Extra points: Ask her what color dress she is wearing and match your tie.

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.