Fuck him as an insult, not literally, ew.

Okay, so psych me up Jezzies. I need to climb an 8 foot ladder into my attic to fix a window. I bought all the stuff to fix a window. I hauled the ladder home waking 8 blocks. I got all the stuff I need to fix the window, and the cool guy at Ace showed me how to do it. I know I will feel awesome when I accomplish…

Odd that a woman whose husband apparently initiates sex while she’s sleeping finds this all to be just flirtatiousness. :/ 

Same! and same :(

It’s usually quiet on the 4th of July, which is an inconvenience to me, a Canadian who uses Jez to break up my work day. I’m bummed about the buyouts though :(

This place is dead snookums, now come sit on my lap.

Topics Suzanne Somers could have stuck to instead:
- what Don Knotts smelled like (definitely weird)
- couch pratfalls
- Cindy Snow
- thighs
- thighmasters

Here’s the allegation that I keep coming back to:

is why her hangers the new but her emails?

This was strangely sweet! Dame Jo is like a reverse-mentor sent from Satan.

It definitely is! I think millennial is from 81-94 or something like that. I know because I’m 81 and I’m on the cusp which is weird some say I am and some say I’m not.

28 is a millennial right? Her Twitter game it on point. Anyone coming for over the age of 30 is going to have his ass handed to him.

+1 to this - I have never seen more terror. I had to do some research over the weekend on alt-right sites and between wanting to wash everything I am with bleach and going into a hysterical crying jag when I thought I had to do it for a few more hours, noticed how much they talk about (1) liking Nazis and white…

Dear Democrats: I live in a forever red state and you need to fucking work for the rest of morons votes that live here.

ASK JEEVES is his real true love

But he is so used to Alta Vista!

Right?  Hannity had this big bullet point list about her policies and talked about them like they were a bad thing.  I took one look at that list and was like, sounds good to me!

Never interrupt your enemy while they are making mistakes.

Hey John,