Why would he get a Citation? That’s a downgrade from his Delorean.

Y’know what would be a good article? A comparison between the different top speed events. Why should I go down a highway rather than the wide open salt flats? Are there less regulations? Which one is cheapest? Which one is safest?

i am, however, surprised they sent cops instead of an ambulance - this guy was clearly having a stroke.

You know how sometimes there’s traffic for no apparent reason and then it just clears up, and you never pass an accident or anything? From now on I’m going to have to assume it’s caused by something like this

Even the Lincoln Tunnel is unsafe because of carjackers.

...Esquilin was placed under arrest and handcuffed (behind his back, for the safety of everyone involved) and placed into the back seat of a police cruiser. Expecting a short ride to the police station, he was notably confused when the ride took approximately 17 hours. The officer then took him out of the cruiser and…

First cop on the scene told him to put his Piscataway. But the guy’s a Hoboken so he just kept Wyckoff his Weehawken until he Nutley.

My Mini Cooper S used to get me mugged all the time.

Cool. I’ll be the dude doing 3mph under the limit in front of you when everyone else is 10mph+ or more. Just remember to wave and be friendly to me when you are being held up on the way to work. I’m just following your own advice.

For the love of all things holy, Nissan, the answer is staring you right in the face. JUST BUILD IT!

Fits Alfa Romeo, Ducati, Ferrari, Fiat, Lamborghini and Yugo.

I don’t care if it’s ugly, it would be useful for what I need. I am alone in my vehicle over 90% of the time, so I don’t care if it only seats two. It is small, fuel efficient, and still allows me to haul stuff to the dump or wherever.

Indycar just needs to stop at this point. Make it a one race a year event - Indy 500.

ProTip when trailering a PT Cruiser: Don’t tie it down.

I hope you don’t get an endless parade of “what does this have to do with cars” comments, because this is the kind of quality longform journalism which I love to see on Jalopnik. Thanks, Ryan.

If we’re talking about putting the President in a different kind of plane, I have a suggestion...

Whew! I thought you’d bring up something about tentacles :P

More like Nürburgring defense i think

During ‘06 an Elise was just barely beyond what I was willing to pay. I could find higher-mileage ones (around 20-30k miles) with clear titles in the low-20'... high-teens for a rebuilt. And honestly, at the time I felt that higher mileage ones were probably a better bet because they were less likely to have been used…

“fecal icing on this whole impressive shitcake.”
Jim....? Is that you!?!