'ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING.'
'Yes Mein Fuhrer!'

He did Nazi that coming

Agreed - the only reason fet and the gang knew where to find her was because she managed to mace Eichorst and get away. Without her quick thinking they would've never been able to save her. So although you could just say on the surface that she was rendered helpless and rendered a tool for suspense via the threat of…

I hadn't watched it yet ;_; They got me all hyped about it too, all for nothing

I dont want to run the world when I'm old - I just want to be plugged into virtual reality and play video games all day

I remember when the film debuted - it was so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ worked in the ticket booth, and the film was composed of drawrings! Cave drawrings! And the popcorn was gravel they poured into your hands!

Literally the exact same point in which I bailed - as soon as they wasted time explaining the talking can of vegetables I realized that I wasn't going to like the show very much

I thought Wet Hot American Summer would be a great thing, but it ended up being just flat and a little boring

Don't you mean 'It Stinks!' ?

Honestly for a moment I thought the article was talking about Leslie Nielsen… then I remembered he was dead.. then I felt really fucking sad.

If the man wanted a small soda he would've ASKED for it

Hey…. are you small ?

*sounds of cat being beat against a stone wall*

You'll drink even harder when you find out that 'The Thing' used practical effects originally, then nixed them at the last second and switched everything to cheap CGI. You can still see the practical effects, monsters etc in behind the scenes photos

I just love how nothing made sense - and nothing was required to make sense - in Nemo's dreams. One moment he's fighting off bats, and the next he's back in his bed with the scepter and those goofy morphing goblins.

Jesus, I want to hold on to this post for a few years. You couldn't have been more accurate if you tried.

Return of the Jed-I-Wanna-Dip-My-Balls-In-It

He definitely hit the random board, which nosedived into edgy 'rebellion' type posts over the past few years where nearly every poster tries to incite hate, disgust, and sadness

That's what happens when you have an anything goes 'random' board. Don't blame the board, blame the people. I've been on 4chan boards for about 7 years now, on and off, and that shit rarely gets posted and when it does, it's nuked from the board and the posters IPs are immediately banned. Doesn't stop people because…

You know who else he's a cousin of?