My dogs (and my cat) had a standing agreement with me, stemming from a bout of the flu I had in the fall of 2000. If I failed to get out of bed for 24 hours straight, they were allowed to begin eating my face. If that didn’t get me out of bed to put food in the bowls, they were entitled to finish the rest of me. I…

If you want your sparkling water to taste like a metal can that had a strawberry in it for a week, La Croix is a good place to start.

Yeah, but it was a dry heat.

Ideally, I’d like to see the “alleged” virtual console just show up with thousands of full new-ish games from all previous Nintendo gens as well as xbox 360/ps3. That’s the future I want to live in. Make Nintendo Great Again!

In addition to new games? Absolutely. There are a lot of old AAA games that I’d totally replay (or play for the first time) if I had them on Switch, solely because it’s portable.

More AAA games on Switch are always a good thing.

I’m only guessing, but maybe they put all their energy into the hardware and the whole titanium/ceramic thing and since the camera sensor by theory is just as good as anyone else’s, that software updates’ll fix whatever problems later anyways.

I don’t know, but maybe these things weren’t deemed essential, or something.

Sure, if you manage to watch the whole coaching session in 30 seconds without watching cat videos or something

Not every country recognizes Nerd Law. Don’t even get me started on Bird Law...

Everyone knows you can only trust even number savages...

Now we’ve established that if you, like “A Childless Wife,” have chosen to be child-free, you are empty of soul, selfish and controlled by your basest desires.

Nintendo copying Sony again. /s

In Overwatch a “tank” is a protective, frontline character soaking up lots of damage and the “support” keeps everyone’s health bar full. With a little bit of imagination those roles can be loaded with plenty of kinky symbolism.

This weekend, Overwatch will be available for free on PS4 and (disappointingly) for only Xbox One owners with an Xbox Live Gold membership.