Let me be the first to say:

Director of Homeland Security, at least.

It never has and never will be anything but welcoming to all human beings who live, move, and breathe in God’s world.

“And he faced no consequences.”

I once bought a Volkswagen.

I used to reuse grocery bags as trash bags all the time, but ever since the California grocery bag ban, I’ve had to buy trash bags that I only use once... Oh the irony

I used to reuse grocery bags as trash bags all the time, but ever since the California grocery bag ban, I’ve had to…

You guys, none of this is real.

She’s great, and I thought she was great in the movie. That said, I went to the movie to be entertained, not to have any theories confirmed, so I’m probably doing this wrong.

OMG iPhone X users, what if you don’t have a Home button anymore?!

I initially read “caffeine runs” as meaning “diarrhea from too much coffee”, and became a little concerned....

lol’ed at the reporter at the end of the video repeatedly calling it a “dodger”

“A guy fell into him and got nacho cheese on his arm and now he’s taking pictures and signing autographs. It shows you where our society’s at right now with all that stuff.”

She should’ve said, “And bleach the eyebrows, too.”

Get google voice for your voicemail. You have assign custom voicemail messages. My blocked calls get the old disconnected number error tone.