I came here to mock, but now I’m all, “maybe I should pierce my hair too?” Life is confusing.

I JUST GOT IT! PUN WIN OF THE WEEK!!!

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Me. Too.

I'm sorry, how do naked boobs kill feminism? I didn't realize they were so powerful and I'd like to start using mine for evil...

MIC DROP. Excuse me, miK drop

This is Important Journalism. Thank you.

Thank you!!!

Right? I’m 34, newly married, and for the first time thinking about having kids. Then I read something (else) horrifying and think, “maybe vodka can be my baby?”

Ugh, this is totally off-topic, but when you ride alone do you get men who ride up to you and try to give (unsolicited) advice on how you could be riding your bike better? I usually give them a cold look or speed off and away, but it invariably ruins the rest of my ride...

Damn you for making me laugh while my lymph nodes are swollen!

Okay, $1082 for a two bedroom on the UWS? Damn, sign me up. Keep your doormen and dishwashers. I’ve never had either, anyway.

I came here to type exactly that. Who are these people?

Me too! I was like, “she makes them wait until 15 for a iPhone and pick up their clothes? That MONster!” I didn't get a cell phone until 16 and even then it was 1) a Nokia flip phone 2) only for emergencies.

Equal parts funny and disturbing. Can't wait for the Rosanna Arquette episode.

THANK you

I went from OCPs to a Mirena IUD. Sweet baby Jesus, it HURT (I’ve never been pregnant). And getting off the pills has made my face break out on the reg. Then again, I don’t have to think about birth control for five years, and I never get my period anymore. So while I don’t spread the IUD gospel as vehemently as some…

Ass

Nay, I GUARANTEE it

I just got married for maybe $31k (which is still stupid expensive IMO), and I bet my wedding was more fun than this garbage...