I know if I was an awesome 18-year-old football player I would definitely shoot for 42 year old porn stars to hook up with.

Such. Weird. Boobs.

He's the hero mulch deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

Coach Whisenhunt: Sweep the leg.

I think the go-to costume for parents walking their kids around the sub is the "Guilty Remnant". Just white clothes and a cigarette. And a notepad with "no almond joys please" scribbled on it.

Great story, Jill, and you are/were pretty cute, but...

Holly Heinricker, oh my!

Ba ha ha! Congrats on the crap, Jill!

"Is this what bacon does? What does bacon do? Mom, can we still go to McDonald's when you stop making me do this?"

We've basically had a TV network drama-full of weekly NFL fuckups that should have any person with a conscience boycotting the league - but that's hardly happened.

Glad Chris Kluwe found work after the NFL

Because there is zero chance that Paula Deen, who once proudly recounted the details of an antebellum-themed party she threw and slung the N-word around willy-nilly, is not aware of the historical echoes and symbolism of a rich white woman sending a black woman out to ring the dinner bell. Zero chance. Which means…

It's a helpful rejoinder to the "Ah've learned from mah mistakes, y'all" redemption narrative she's been pushing lately.

Whether that's true or not, this is a deliberate conjuring of the racist Mammy caricature.

i think the title of the article " are you cool enough to drink switchel?" should give you a little foreshadowing on the piece of garbage you are about to read

I clicked though the Modern Farmer website and saw nothing on John Deere's 2015 model year harvesters, or anything on rice futures. This is bullshit.

"Part Deux"? What the fuck does that mean? You wanna fight, asshole? Let's go!

Peter King reports it as: "The commissioner takes promotional tour to the judicial branch, nothing to see here."

After experiencing Edward 40Hands, I too am anti-drinking game.

I am generally anti-drinking game (I feel it debases the noble endeavor) and figure you could just do Edward LokoHands instead if so inclined, but you do make a valid (I assume) point about the hand temp realization.