Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome the United States new vice president, Apple Blythe Alison Martin Paltrow.

Eric Schmidt can always find a way to make an ass out of himself.

While I may have agreed with this in the past, as a 42 year old man, I am now re-friends with people I lost when I moved in 6th grade. I now live on the other side of the country and am happy to have them back in my life again thanks to Facebook. However there is no replacement for human contact. I have always…

Pakistan harbored the world's most wanted criminal in a populated area for 7 years. I'm glad he was killed and my tax dollars don't have to go to the hundreds of millions of dollars it would have taken to put a man, that has admitted all of his atrocities on trial only to kill him anyway.

Now see, I would have thought the 140 year old practice of stringing power lines across wooden poles would have been on the list somewhere.

I've worked in high tech companies and they just don't give away expensive free shit for nothing. My guess is give iPad's to them and see what new direction they can steer the company with new technology.

Does PG&E ever do anything right?

Too bad Osama bin Laden didn't think to do this.

Why would a goat-fucker need female porn to get himself off?

Anyone that goes around shooting living things like that has serious mental problems.

You don't get to be a billionaire by being nice and pleasant. Anyone that owns a business knows that you can't succeed if your employees walk all over you.

Party at Grandma's house!

I would have placed him at the edge of the ship, put my foot on his ass and shoved him in. Getting chopped up in the propeller would be a lovely bonus.

If you're arrested, the police can get the file off your phone. If your phone is stolen someone can stalk you. That's enough for me.

It's just a gimmick, like the double chamber Nerds candy.

Anyone that's a manager, supervisor and business owner knows you have to be an asshole or people will take advantage of you.

The job is extremely boring and tedious. Anyone that has had a job like that knows how hard it is to stay awake even with a good nights sleep. They need to find a way to keep these controllers busy in between flights.

I'll be sitting on the edge of my seat.

FaceBook Share formatting is messed up.