I see no air vents whatsoever. Will it have any climate control ?!?!

No matter how good it is, it’s still a minivan. You could fit it with a goddamn flux capacitor and time travel capability and a lot of suburban families would still search as hard as they could to rationalize reasons NOT to buy it.

The Transit Connect minivan variant looks funky... not all squared off like that, but still fairly distinctive.

Substitute “station wagon” for “minivan” and all the spirit that went into that piece still holds true.

I agree. The first thing I thought was “wow, that’s probably the best unintentional advertisement for the Town Car/Crown Vic I’ve ever seen.”

I would have range anxiety. What if I get all the way to the end of my driveway and the battery dies?

I would have range anxiety. What if I get all the way to the end of my driveway and the battery dies?

It’s fine to use the big, kinda-loud, very-thirsty V8 if that’s your thing, but it’s a misfit for what the SS is trying to be. Personally, I would love to see this car with the 3.6L TT motor currently going into the CTS Vsport.

Remember child seats. I need to insert BOTH of my kids into 5-point harnesses every time we get in the car... you get used to it after a while.

Remember, this is the company that markets its 4-door, FWD, CVT-powered sedan as a “sports car.”

Oh, fuck me, that’s bad looking.

I have three other features you MUST add (especially since vehicle weight appears not to be an issue whatsoever):

Greetings from a CTS wagon owner.

I can think of a few times my wheels have been stuck in pockets of driveway ice or snow when this feature would’ve come in quite handy. Raise up one side, slide a mat or board underneath, and repeat. Off you go.

I’m betting a pistol-wielding SEAL can probably hit a terrorist in the head from 25 yards with one hand tied behind his back. A 9mm is fine when you’re a crack shot hitting at a soft target.

That kind of poser would never say “please” to anyone, especially not his mom.

Interesting that the A-Team van wasn’t deemed iconic enough to represent the classic original series in 1983, but was deemed iconic enough in the lame-ass sequel to represent 2010. Dude, come on.....

1999: The French Connection

Gasp! Cadillac talking about buyers who “don’t live in urban areas?” From their advertising and promotional photos, you’d think the ONLY people they’re currently marketing to are middle aged urban apartment-dwelling overachiever hipsters... most of whom don’t even buy cars.

The fob must have been embedded in the rocker panels, “French Connection” style.