Well, you don't read Roth for the plot—you read him for the characters. The completely insufferable characters.

The greatest trick Vanilla ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

All right STOP collaborate and listen
Ice is back with some stuff from your kitchen
"Burglar" ain't a term to use lightly
Talk to the cops; treat 'em politely
Will I ever stop? Yo, I don't know
Got some advice? I need dough
Sadly my scheme to steal bikes is a gamble
Cops search my house and what they find is a scandal

I think you're confusing Batman and Spider-Man. St. Peter Parker famously failed to stop the Romans from killing Jesus, and his guilt drove him to become Pope Spider-Man I.

Well, a Ford Galaxy only seats about seven, so unless the accident is absolutely horrific you should be able to count the bodies before running away from the highway patrol.

I prefer that my superheroes have wholesome, all-American names like Max Cocker and Manny Rodman.

Really? I preferred Butt Sluts VI: The Undiscovered Country to Butt Sluts V: The Final Frontier.

Jiminy looks harmless, but when he whacks you in the head with that umbrella it really smarts.

My name is Jo Roberts; I fuck in this state
I'm an escort out of Perenville, folks there say I'm great
I've always done an honest job—as honest as I could
I got a client named Frankie; Frankie ain't no good

Eh, all in all he's just another Glenn in the Hall.

It's because this is the year that seven-time Oscar nominee Whiplash Tempo will finally take home the award for Best Original Score.

NICHOLSON: Roman, the possibility of successfully raping a thirteen-year-old is approximately 3,720 to one!

I agree with you. I do think soap operas and comic books are a special case, though, in that specific stories can be compelling but attempts to maintain "continuity" are inevitably ridiculous.

I didn't mean it as a criticism. Most dramatic storylines and backstories (especially on long-running episodic television) can be made to seem silly if you just explain them deadpan. That said, I watched the first two seasons of Mad Men and there was a slightly odd "soap opera under glass" feel to it. A lot of the…

Isn't Don Draper's backstory that he was born in a whorehouse before being raised by Okies, going to Korea, and stealing a dead comrade's identity? Before coming back to the States and reinventing himself as a successful ad-man and lady-killer?

Don't be silly—they've already cast Kate Upton as Hillary Clinton.

Stanistand and Deliver.

"Forget it, Stan! It's Stanistan!"

BLACK WIDOW: Five years ago, I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot out my tires near—

Does he retain an outdated, comically over-the-top hatred of Germans and Italians? Because if he doesn't, he should.