This is actually great parenting. There's no need to coddle children, they need to know what Trump is. Now if only we can get over this language in schools.

*DEAD* I almost choked on my coffee.

It is very comforting that John Legend seems to be the real deal. 

“Watch the whole useless thing below if you feel like it.”

This version of the aristocrats is both the most disgusting and the least funny.

Actually, the decline was worse than I remembered. In 2016, 84% of Europeans trusted the US to do the right thing, down to 16% in 2018.

Now the lyrics to his music have a completely different meaning. And I can see the reason her parents are still denying this shit.  They are complicit in it.  Fuck R Kelly and his music will never be played by me again.  

“The reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia, they were right to be there. The problem is it was a tough fight. Literally they went bankrupt and went back to being called Russia again instead of the Soviet Union.”

I can’t believe in these two years no reporter has had the stones to say something like “Do you realized how idiotic you sound when you say things like that, and we all know you’re lying, badly?”

I had a meeting at the Pentagon with lots of generals. They were like from a movie. Better looking than Tom Cruise and stronger. And I had more generals than I’ve ever seen, and we were at the bottom of this incredible room. I said, ‘this is greatest room I’ve ever seen.’

The airing of the documentary will coincide with the release of Kelly’s life long concerto grosso entitled, “G-string on A Minor.”

I’m sure people have been actually assaulted by Texans over less. 

“That’s the first time he’s done that this year.”

She’s like Dane Cook: average jokes but usually her huuuuuuge personality carries them over the line. This time it didn’t, much like it did for Dane sometimes. Comedians that rely on a big personality to cover for ok material don’t last long.

LITERALLY they had one job that night!

You mean like this? 

Happy NEW YEAR!

What a nice way for the NFL to honor Bob McNair’s legacy