This one is like a fucking art film.

Based on this anecdote your family is the best

YES DAD!!

Omg I am near tears

I’m going to need more details on this one.

Did he go rooting through someone elses DVD collection to find that movie? Bonus points if he didn’t ask first.

This is my favorite story. Thanks for sharing, really.

“He looked like a fucking beegee”

My husband does the long meandering story thing. It’s something people eventually ask me about in private, gingerly, like, “so, he can really go on, huh?” - the kind where you are going crazy trying to remember where the verbal parentheses began and ended, if this part was a footnote or the body of his point, if the…

Thanks for the laugh!

Flashes back to Breaking Bad.

It truly is the gift that keeps on eating your face.

That is...wow. It’s a BEARD, people! They are naturally occurring!!

I would like to know WHAT THE FOX SAY!

You are my hero today.

Trump has leverage over the future of CNN and has specifically called for VJ to be fired in calls to the network

Is that...actually in the Bible?

Like how every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square.

Ohh and this is a non-fucking-issue, and I resent the classist/misogynist/gender-policing kneejerk reactions this woman is capable of extracting from the supposed left wing. She’s loathsome for tons of good actual reasons. This just makes us look like sexist hypocrites and feeds her narrative.

In my experience, with my own couch, once you’ve fucked on a couch it’s kinda hard to grant it any respect. I’m kellyanned on my antique loveseat at this very moment.