See what your Draconian policies have done, Gov. Walker?

I have Spotify Premium but I use iHeartRadio and created a Modern Jazz Quartet “station” which plays MJQ and other similar artists who play a more mellower jazz. I used to use the Charlie Parker station, but “April in Paris” might suddenly be followed up by “Hot House.” But, thanks, now I’ll look this up on Spotify.

Same here. I just watched him call the Abreu home run a few minutes ago and the ball was bouncing back onto the field before he launched into his “You can put it on the board...” call.

He’s really good though. Maybe I should start kissing my ball.

Palin: And it’s a straight fight here at Leicester and we’re expecting the result any moment now. There with the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith the sensible candidate and next to him is Jethro Q. Walrustitty the silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife.

“I didn’t mean to attack people in New York,” he said, according to the New York Times, emphasizing that he meant the policies, not the people. “I love New York.”

“Oh, what the fuck? That’s not a white man on my movie screen! Everything is fucked!!!”

brought before Mon Mothma for the sort of teen badassery that includes “forgery of Imperial documents, possession of stolen property, aggravated assault, and resisting arrest.”

People who use cancer as a metaphor are worse than Hitler.

“Is it an awesome shower in the morning, is it a great breakfast, is it a beautiful view? Or is it all of those things together? Do you prefer to watch a movie on an iPad by yourself, or in a room full of 50 people? You need to be able to enter these kinds of social experiences with options.”

I am genuinely disturbed by this.

Is dungleberry the past tense of dingleberry?

Sounds like your ass resembles Ray Lewis’ face.

This is some solid ass-wiping skills. If there was an Ass-Wiping League, I’d nominate you for commish.

Combo style ass-wiping. Slight stand-crouch for maximum penetration. How the fuck does one stand and wipe their ass?

I’ve done it. Adjust the meat to mushroom ratio, though, and it won’t be “gross.”

Honorable Mention:

This will be great to listen to while watching the Basketball Last Four Teams game.

needs more Shade

Psst. Don’t look at the new article posted just above this one on the front page. Just a tip...