My woman's brain cannot comprehend what "women's brains are worth it" even fucking means.

"You've already been violated. It's just not worth it. It's too much humiliation."

She said "who wants to hear about Paris Hilton?" I started squealing and doing my excited dance, which is just my hands balled up into fists shaking real hard. I was in her immediate sightline so she said "that is one excited gay" and mimicked my movements.

Fact*: if someone talks to you directly, tweets at you directly, or mentions you directly in a comment/email, you then have the right to refer to said person by their first/given name and/or an approved nickname.

Only the good die young.

I don't know why more people aren't terrified of raccoons. They're big, they'll eat anything, and they have HANDS. Oh, and they carry a parasite deadly to humans. Fun creatures!

OVERTON FOR PRESIDENT OF EVERYTHING

Surey this is frowned upon by the higher ups? I don't know why I even asked that question.

And whoever created the word promposal should be tasered. A lot.

Bunch of birds exploded when they stepped on the pavement? Waka Flocka Flame.

Black Twitter: On point as always.

Yep. It is.

lol remember when she ran for president

She always knew she'd make it to the White House!

I find this to be more tragic than our inevitable nuclear destruction.

From now on, just gonna blame Waka Flocka Flame for everything. Late to work? Waka Flocka Flame. Started a fire? Waka Flocka Flame. Paper cut? International kidnapping plot uncovered? Blame Waka Flocka Flame.