The "wonderful video message filled with laughter" appears to be a rapist wearing pajamas, talking to no one (on a rotary [?] phone) insisting he will be "hilarious."

At this rate, Madonna is eventually going to start referring to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE as the "Something Madonna"—the sun is "the Sky Madonna," an airplane,"the Fly Madonna," her favorite bread, "the Rye Madonna."

But I could buy perfectly nice versions of some of the $500 things for $40.

Does she not understand "500" or "sex" (or maybe "day")?

Have a great weekend!

I used to take books and magazines and my laptop and DVDs and CDs and bottles of nail polish and boxes of tissues and so on to bed with me day after day until there was no room left for me.

How did Parliament Lights and Diet Coke make me soooo happy? I don't miss them any more, but I miss missing them.

John Stamos used to be older than me.

Are those all hair brushes? (Should I know the answer?)

The tidy ending was one of many really "never in real life would this happen" moments. I thought Officer Newton's Big Speech was meant to absolutely show him as evil. Did others see that part differently? I was very moved by the episode. The tears came for me early. I agree that it was far from perfect, as Scanndal…

Someone just showed them photos of Kim and Jared's new hair color.

And if he donated a portion of the proceeds to a worthy cause, he'd probably sell even more...and then everyone could tweet about their good deeds...

All the Six Feet Under fans now imagining Titanic with Brenda and Billy as Jack and Rose.

I can almost see a reality show...

Holy shit. This one is going to stay with me for a long time. Too tidy an ending, but devastating.

My fear was that you were going to tell me the little guys were eaten, so...costuming for visitor amusement isn't so bad.

Interspecies care FTW!

I love this — it's like the opposite of when people just say "the vagina"!

"Corpulent corpus cavernosum"?

"Flab-ia."