I want to reach back into the 1990s and fix those overall straps.

Just like she, and anyone else you're not attracted to, reserves the right to not give a shit.

Since EVERYTHING about women exists solely for the amusement of the heterosexual male, that extends to women's hair. Of course.

Oh, yes. I've always had an insistence on all food for the cats being on the floor, NOT on the furniture, and NOT while people are still eating. And all silverware is removed from it first. Dining room table rules are the same as you describe, too.

Oh, this isn't my first cat, by any stretch of the imagination :P With one exception, I've gotten them as kittens, and have started right away with getting them used to things like having their noses and ears cleaned and having their paws checked while cuddling. With nail-trimming, I wait until he's a little sleepy…

I meant to add: Pippin DEMANDS CUDDLES multiple times a day, so I've gotten good at cradling him with one arm because of that (he insists on flipping onto his back like a baby. It kills me with the cuteness. My God)

From what I can tell, he has the normal number of claws per toe, with one extra toe on each of his front feet. His left back foot has a small extra toe, a little further up his leg, but the other doesn't.

THIS.

When Laurie complained about the mulitple-hands thing, I thought, what, are you on crack? I'd seriously take advantage of those kinds of abilities.

"Yeah, it makes a statement. You know what it is? 'I got a tattoo out of a magazine'."

When I was a teenager, my family, briefly, went to church with my stepfather's sister (her son, about my age, had died in a car accident and she got really religious after that.) I remember one day, when some people started acting odd during the services—wordless gibbering, sudden outbursts, etc—my mother leaned over…

That cat looks SO MUCH like my Pippin, down to the thumbs:

I think you hit the nail directly on the head.

Also, FYI: Women have just as much right to differing opinions as men are, and are under no more obligation to agree with each other than men are, either. Which was also one of the points of this article that went sailing right past you.

You seem to have missed the overarching theme of this article, which is that women are autonomous individuals, with different thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and are not responsible for the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of others. Therefore, one woman disagreeing with another is not a matter of…

Do you mean "There is no judgment here for your love of passive voice"?

This must be some new universe where "chocolate" is shorthand for "good genes and a robust metabolism."

It's not bad to tell someone she is pretty. What IS bad is to tell her she is pretty at the exclusion of or in disproportionately high numbers compared to all other comments and compliments.

The vanilla ones are the BEST.