Yeah, I really need some 34 year old male virgin’s advice about what to do with my uterus. Good Lord.

My grandmother once set her microwave on fire reheating an Arby's sandwich while still in it's little foil wrapper. How is he not dead?  🤔

I microwaved hamburger helper with a can of tuna mixed in when I was homeless. But like. I had no stove. I am utterly baffled by what he’s doing here. He's rich and must have a stove. But oookay.

I...microwaved pasta when I was essentially homeless and didn’t have access to a stove, but did have access to a microwave. I am so confused by this. Why would someone wealthy opt for this method?

I’m so sorry you have had this hurt. :(

I opened one to a random place in a bookstore (I think it was Barnes & Noble) and slammed it shut thinking “omg I cannot be seen skimming this”. A friend of mine wanted to see the movie so we downloaded it. I was pretty drunk and don’t remember much except that we were both expecting it to be ~~super freaky~~ and it…

😱🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It seems like he has a relationship with the kid now at least. :/ The whole thing is sad. I'm just happy for his son he's being acknowledged now. 

I don't know why I read this article. Apparently I hate myself.

Was anyone asking for this movie?

I kind of still can't believe those were the books that gave us 50 Shades of Grey. The shitty books that spawned an even shittier series of books.

I feel like I threw him under the bus with this comment hahaha

I’m sorry Peyton apparently the internet thinks you’re hideous 😂 sorry I brought it up 

Get it while the getting is good!

I'm sorry this is grinding you down so much. This will all be over some time. Hang in there.

Thank you!

“No surprise penises” is the phrase I needed this week 😂

Underrated comment lmao

Eh, mind your own business.

I have a dog and a cat but this comment is absolutely true and hysterical to me 😂