“Billy Long” sound like a fake name you use to check into a Vegas hotel with a hooker.

Rosebud 2016!!!

Rosebud 2016.

That kind of thing is why it’s confusingly. She’s capable of being so great and standing up to a lot of shit but then she’s also a vapid idiot who endorses some damaging conservative values.

I’m always reminded of this New Yorker Andy Borowitz headline whenever Megyn Kelly does anything reasonable. I do truly resent it.

He probably hurt himself playing Pokemon Go.

Maybe this guy can fill in:

And you know they will say everyone is too sensitive and you “can’t joke anymore”. I just want to get violent.

What are you talking about? All Asians are exactly the same! There’s no difference between Korea and China and Japan and ‘Nam!

Saying there’s a new book about the Mitford sisters is a bit like sharing the breaking news that the sun rose again.

This is the same logic of getting rid of Trump. Even if you did, you still have the Trump supporters. Getting rid of frats doesn’t eliminate the men who populate those frats.

MEANWHILE IN GEN 6:

Welcome to the internet where everyone bitches about everything.

I just don’t even know anymore...

And I looked and beheld a pale man, with skin like the belly of a slug. In his right hand he held a machete, and in his left hand he held the decapitated head of a cheetah from a game reserve in Africa. And lo, his name was Eric.

I can’t get passed how crappy and lazy this work is to even be offended.

How else do you think John McCain continues cling on to life? Sacrifices must be made!

So this asshole is studying for a career in Law Enforcement?

Instead of meals, eat snacks. Twelve almonds a day, one every hour or so, and then spend the other twelve hours sleeping to take your mind off the gnawing hunger in your gut.

Sorry tabloids, you’re a week late to the Brangelina divorce party, we’ve had our fun and now it’s just sad.