And crochet hooks

Here’s the thing: they don’t CARE if you die. In their minds, you deserve it for doing such an awful thing. They would smile down smugly at your body and picture you roasting in hell with the other sinners, and discuss carting your corpse around to schools so they could use it to scare young girls about what happens…

Let this be official documentation. If I ever die from a back alley abortion I don’t want to be buried. I don’t want to be cremated. I don’t want to be donated to science. I want my body shipped to Flynn’s office.

“Cahnt eat lawbstah every day” - she’s amazing and incredibly subtle about her politeness-based face-to-face-confrontation-attack-method. just keeps lowering her voice and being politely contrarian (and right too)

Just wait until you have to register to buy coat hangers.

We need more than just one night a week of her and John Oliver. The two of them could take down Trump by the end of March if we got them nightly.

As much as I despise Texas and the school for the way they want about this, absolutely nothing here seems right from that family. For one, the clock was basically a nothing thing in the first place. Two, the kid has gotten an absolutely insane amount of attention out of it. Three, they moved to fucking Qatar. Four,…

good.

I’m 100% sure she did not get the joke.

The Weeknd low-key dying was the best part of this.

That dress is just way too tight. Not because she isn’t skinny. Because it’s the wrong size.

Daisyyyyyy. I don’t love that dress but I love her and she’s gorgeous so it’s okay.

This pleases me . . . she drives me up the wall.

EVERYONE

YES!

didn’t they used to “date”?

Right?!?

From the looks of it, Chelsea did in fact, Laugh her Ass Off.

Britney Spears loves the Back Street Boys.

not everybody is a candidate for lasik. My wife's eyes are so bad that its impossible for Lasik to actually correct her vision fully. Best they can do is not make her totally blind without her glasses.