Moyer said she gets her red kangaroos from a Wisconsin-based exotic animal broker, and that females run up to $3,500 and males, $2,000. (“He brokers any animal you’re looking for. One year he asked me if I wanted a white rhinoceros for $100,000. Last time he called me he had a bunch of hyenas. He’s an awesome guy.”)

my mom and i watch their show occasionally (i mostly hate/rage-watch it but my mom loves these damn weirdos) and the girls on the show seem kind of nice and sweet and fairly innocent despite the fact that their parents have taught them to vomit hateful, bigoted rhetoric. i think that if they didn’t have such shitty…

ptown is the best!!!!!!!!!!

why didn’t i think of doing this that one time my flight to FL got delayed 7 hours

petition to remove all bodies from old ladies. they can exist as heads in jars like on futurama.

SO GROSS the only 70 year olds we should see on screen are 70 year old DUDES boinking 20 year old ladies. no older than 29!

but EWWWW, who would want to watch a film about a FIFTY FIVE YEAR OLD WOMAN?!

do you think she intentionally colors her roots brown to cover the grey while the rest of her hair gets colored blonde? i would literally die

the propeller blades on the tail of the helicopter consist of Traditional Family Values™, the second amendment, and those creepy pictures of fetuses that they use in their pro-life/anti-choice protests.

if “adults are willing to experiment on our kids” then maybe they should be questioning the background checks of GS troop leaders and authority figures, not the children who are just trying to join a fun organization to meet new friends and participate in fun activities with their current ones.

i would pay for a TIDAL sub if that was on it

i totally feel like i have the exact opposite issue with plus size stores. my mom and i occasionally shop at dress barn, sometimes i can find some cute tops that don’t look matronly and i’m also at this weird in between size (spoiler: i fit in 12/14/16) where i’m too fat for regular clothing stores but too small for…

preaching to the choir

ah my bad. i did a little googling and for sexting/sending nude pics they can be forced to register.

well i think that if kids are caught having sex in school i am pretty sure they can be forced to register as sex offenders. i think it’s a combination of public indecency and in most places if you’re under 16 you’re considered too young to consent to sex even if both parties agree to it.

we had a prom when i was in 8th grade. it was pretty tame compared to what this dude was up to.

i like to imagine my uterus sipping margaritas and when asked whether or not it would want to house a fetus for 9 months, it would laugh heartily and continue drinking the margarita.

because fetuses have to be protected at all costs, but once they’re out of the womb, we don’t give a shit about them anymore. no welfare for you, pull yourself up by your bootstraps!

ive never had an abortion but i feel like this is how i would feel if i got one. like yay i don’t have to feel the stress and burden of raising a human until i basically die when i’m absolutely not ready to do that! let's go get a carvel ice cream cake!