ESPN.com's comments are written by dolphins, just like Family Guy epsiodes are written (per South Park). The dolphins take a ball with a player's name from one bin, a ball with an adjective from another bin, and a ball with an inane user name from the third bin. The text of three balls are then read by a scanner and…

The Sox should have Art Modell sing the National Anthem Saturday night.

I think I'm going to hate the program and would rather use Apple's iWork suite, but I have no choice because of my job.

Nevermind Botox, it looks like Patrick's been having injections of formaldehyde.

I'd love to see Belichick coach an opponent of Bernie's team's. 313-0, halftime score.

OK: That Shawne Merriman uses drugs and cheats.

I've never been prouder of myself than right now. I've kicked the ESPN habit so well that the only person I recognize in that picture is the fruit with the perm.

I coached little league for two seasons. The only way I'd do it again would be if adults were barred from attending the games. I had to ask a 70-something-year-old grandma to stop taunting one of her grandson's teammates. He split time at third with her grandson. Whenever the other kid made an error, she yelled "That…

On Writing is a great source for writing suggestions. It's a quick read too.

Clearly Tim McCarver defines "big inning" differently than the rest of us.

It's true, it's true. Even the fans are becoming like Yankee fans: I'm a lifelong Sox fan, but instead of watching the game last night I watched the Larry Craig interview and then two episodes of the Wire on DVD. It just doesn't matter after 2004.

Having accidently left my iBook in luggage that I checked in on a flight Monday and having it returned with a screen that looks like stained glass, maybe I could use some pointers and securing my Mac from myself, never mind others.

I've been a freelance writer and editor for three years now—there's no need to own a fax machine. I rely on my scanner and e-mail. I think twice I've had to schelp to Kinko's to use its fax.

I'm a big fan of Eagle Creek's packing cubes and other packing gear.

I have two buckets: a voice recorder and the Notes ap on my iPhone. I use the voice recordered when driving, but otherwise rely on the iPhone. I e-mail the notes to myself and have a rule in Mail to forward every e-mail from myself the subject "Notes" to my actions folder where I sort through them a few times a day.

I've purchased two cars following the Motley Fool's advice:

.Mac was a disaster—it never worked for me. And an Apple Genius confirmed that's usually the case.

Props to you WIll for staying innocent for so long. Until Bud Selig and company start testing for steroids like they test for uniform violations, there's no choice but to assume all baseball players are junkies. (I popped my they're-all-cheaters cherry when Nomar bared his raging breasts on the cover of SI and…

Failing to follow up on invoices is a big mistake too.

I put my name on a list that blocks a lot of junk mail from getting to me (if only I can get my bethroed to do likewise).