Guess that means I can't have the Hot Pocket open and in my mouth like he wanted...

My best friend and I are always aware when the other is going on dates...what time, where at, etc. We typically call after the date to debrief ("You know, I never had the dealbreaker where I couldn't date a guy whose voice was higher-pitched than mine...til now,") and if we are in the "hook-up phase" we will let…

Oh please. I've been nursing a swoon-style crush on this man for at least the last twelve years.

Did I miss the part where we're all supposed to be really up in arms because we disagree with someone who hate-watched...the Oscars? Because...it's such incredibly important viewing...?

That's like being mad at a bird for flying. Or a seahorse for bobbing around in the ocean and looking weird.

Did you catch the part where this was required of her...for work?

While you may prefer Patrick Neil Harris, I would personally like to see Neil Patrick Harris as a host.

i originally wanted to post this as a visual response to your comment, but i realized it was dual purpose: applause is deserved for a pussy to respond with "world peace."

Now, this might have something to do with my third glass of wine for the evening, but I laughed so hard at this that the homeless men outside my living room window started to make fun of me.