God, I loved the early seasons of Supernatural. Sam and Dean were so damned funny.

Coming this Summer...

Is it a bad sign that my reaction to the kill-person/fuck-goat would have just been “Who’s the person?”

DAMN DARRELL YOU NAMIN’ NAMES! NAME ON NAMERFUCKER.

I feel like this could be taken as shots fired in a glorious pizza chain war that could carry on for months, if not years. You deliver a pizza to our pizza joint, so we send our employees undercover to pose as asshole customers and make ridiculous demands. They spike our water supply, so we burn down their city hall.

I feel so embarrassed for those people. They have no idea how uncouth they’re being. Like, they seriously don’t know how humiliated they should feel for demanding more free shit on top of the free shit they were already given.

I’m immediately sad I didn’t make a Kitchenette themed one. DOING IT ANYWAY.

The hottest new thing in Moniga del Garda is La Scaletta. It has everything. Customers who shouldn’t have eaten that, people who follow the servers around and tell them how to do it better, everyone also works at Olive Garden but they all…

“Everyone else was having fun with us!!!111!”

People who sing in public are the worst. No one wants to hear your out of tune ass serenade people trapped with you on a train or in a restaurant or a store. Unless it’s “Happy Birthday To You” and you are bringing me a desert with a candle in it, shut the fuck up and restrict your tone deaf warbling to the confines…

TEA EMERGENCIES INCLUDE: Tea exists, and is not currently being consumed by me. Thanks.

nerds over ice cream?

A whiteness of teenage girls ordering frappuccinos.

The mother proceeds to tell my manager that I was extremely rude to them and that I lied to them about the wait time because I was “discriminating” (wat) against them.

Very appropriately, after reading this, I went and picked up an order from Five Guys and some woman in front of me was complaining that one of her kid’s little bacon cheeseburger had bacon on it. .... The cashier said, “Yeah, those have bacon on them. So you want a cheeseburger instead? ... Do you want cheese on it?”

I worked at a theater while Passion of the Christ was out. It brought it some pretty interesting people. One customer straight up told me that I was going to hell while buying tickets. I also had a blind customer get tickets for the movie. Normally I wouldn’t think that was weird, but the entire movie is in Aramaic…

But the problem is: If you’re that much of an asshole, you’re not going to be self aware enough to know you’re the giant flaming mega-douche that you actually are. You think you’re awesome, and the world around you is filled with sniveling peons.

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

Corned beef comes in a can in the uk. I don’t know what that picture of deliciousness is but it is not corned beef as i know it.

As someone who is seriously allergic to cashews - screw this mother!

"They accuse me of being a terrible person, but won't elaborate about exactly what I've done. Well, sometimes they do, but it doesn't make sense, at least to me."