Just watch Hanks's appearance on Family Ties.

If would have been funny if her secret was that she cut off men's penises and stored them in boxes.

Minus points for not being Chevy Chase as a Land Gator.

We'll always have Invisible Boy.

Yeah … why on earth would they have a Land Gator and not have it revealed to be Chevy???

It's funny because if you'd said something like that about Lena Dunham you'd have been flagged instantly.

She was actually playing her own mom, Catherine McKinnon.

What about a penis of a different color?

… and Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, and Martin, and Living Single, and The Wayans Bros., and The Cosby Mysteries, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air …

Was this the only Catch-22 reference people made in response???  AVC, we're slipping.

Oppa gangland style!

"Michelle, can you handle it?  I don't think they can handle it."

There's gotta be a better way to say that.

He's no scar.

As a non-vegan who is lactose intolerant, I'm glad those things exist.

If the show's creator and writers had, at that point, decided that Lorelai went to Chilton, they would have had her say something about it when she discussed sending Rory there.  The fact that Chilton was mentioned so many times, and its suitability for Rory was explicitly discussed, and yet Lorelai never once…

Perhaps you could name a son "Sherman Palladino"

It's a lot easier to get into an elite Ivy as the top kid in a mediocre school district than as a graduate of a big-name prep school.  I know this from experience.

Fun fact: The girl Wendy's was named for is actually named "Melinda Lou."  "Wendy" is derived from a childhood mispronunciation of "Melinda" as "Wenda."  (The name "Wendy" itself is often said to have originated as a mispronunciation of "friend" by the daughter of poet WE Henley, who applied it to family friend JM…

As a newbie to the show, I should point out that none of the backstory you lay out has been established in these first two episodes, and these things probably weren't part of the show's "bible" yet.