"If you confine them better we'll have more fun!" As angry as this show makes me, moments like this are why I never stay mad at it for long.

T-minus how many seconds until Dandy cuts off the bottom of his own face to match his new BFF?

Kills cats to foreshadow him being a dangerous lunatic, and yet they pick the performer that decapitates animals for amusement to be the sacrificial lamb THAT WAS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT BUT THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

I just pictured Michael Pitt playing Dandy and smiled for 10 entire seconds.

I'm all worked up about Catherine O'Hara now. Comedic background is an automatic leg-up on working out this show's batshit tone.

I'm struggling to come up with someone better than Kathleen Turner, and nope, that's as good as it gets. Although I'm still all about promoting Bassett to AHS's new point guard if this really is it for Lange.

I don't know about the lack of campiness, I think a Russian Doll-style All About Eve scenario between Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson's Right Head and Sarah Paulson's Left Head along with "I bought you a serial killer clown! Just like you've ALWAYS wanted!" pretty well fulfills my camp quota for the evening. I still…

While we're nominating, because I think the German accent would make it even scarier, You Look So Fine, plz.

Where can we vote for Conroy to play the Big Bad for next season? Because I want to get in on that.

I absolutely love that her performance seems to be splitting the difference between an actual real-life socialite and this fucking nightmare:

Ever since I watched the first episode of Luther, I've been patiently waiting for someone to give Ruth Wilson an amazing leading role. Thanks, television!

Or go up to every man and hiss, "I'll always win… AGAINST THE PATRIACHARL MALE."

I'm probably just going to get lazy and put on a habit and walk up to strangers screaming "I FAVORED you, I CODDLED you, even when everyone else said you were STUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!"

I would just find it really satisfying to see that acknowledged by making it literal one of these days. Related: I'm kicking around the idea of being Sister Jude for Halloween.

I was impressed that they found a practical use for ripping off DePalma. What that did for efficiently navigating the differences between Bette and Dot's perspectives was really well-done— it's rare that they get to filter their ripoffs through something actually functional.

Literally every word she spoke sounded like it was from a different region or country.

Oh my god. I spent the whole episode waiting for the reveal for why Elsa was so attached to protecting these people, and I was so certain that it was because she was either trans or a drag queen. After reading what you wrote, I realized that it was almost certainly a subliminal Hedwig connection I was having that made…

I want to become the first person to adapt a credits sequence into a TV show, and I'm starting with True Blood. Those credits promise a pretty badass show that never actually existed.

In the best of 00s poll, shout out to an In the Mood for Love and Lost in Translation doubleheader, but then again, I'm probably too sad of a person for my opinions to be taken seriously.

Disclaimer, I'm a gay man, but in parallel universe, Team Diaz all the way.