We have all just witnessed the most elaborate Failed Firstie in the history of the AV Club.

Shouldn't you have exploded by now?

I'm checking into this show for the first time, and when the picture loaded up, I was like Holy Shit, Jurassic Park was a long time ago. Then I saw that Dern was on the right, and felt a little less ancient.

GLURP!

BLURP!

Totally agree, but I do prefer the 2D ones. It just feels more like Zelda to me.

It's guaranteed that either Quinn or Batista will die this season. That Mike character has been introduced a season early, to be a slightly more seamless replacement character, like the transition from Doakes to Quinn, but less abrupt, and to have an actual competent detective in order to set up a potential end game…

Yeah, I figured it out. She's 90% Jenna Haze, and 10% Sloth from The Goonies.

Yeah I know, but a Troll's gotta Troll, even if it's to another Troll.

Pardon me, kind sir, but it appears you may have errantly depressed your "Capitalization Lock" key, which renders your typeface in an obscenely large manner, which on the Internet can be misconstrued as being uncouth, and perhaps even a bit unseemly. If you would be so kind as to take a look at the left side of your…

Found the demo link: http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I think that was a Zelda game to be named later. There definitely was some HD Link action on the Wii U demo reel.

Yikes, the review makes it sound more like Grand Theft Auto : Reservoir Dogs to Saint's Row : Boondock Saint's, which makes me not even want to gamefly it.

Any Zelda 2 defenders here? I was just thinking the other day that I don't think I've ever played a game I disliked for more hours than Zelda 2, but I noticed that it seems to be picking up a bunch of apologists of late.

Yeah, I've promised myself that I'm going to turn off the TV as soon as Mos Def shows up as a ghost. Just cuz it's a ghost too many.

A Link to the Past is still the greatest video game of all time.

When Jennifer Carpenter checked in with her plastic surgeon during the off-season, does anyone else think she said "Just give me the Jenna Haze."

Holy Shit you guys!!!!!!! I just came up with the craziest idea! What if the Edward James Olmos character isn't even real!!!!!!! You know, kinda like Dexter's Dad?!?!?!

Why the fuck was there a giant wolf?

As long as the movies don't get less Walken, I'm fine with anybody else going to jail.