I tried my best and I failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Hey, "It makes me feel better about my own failings" is a reason.

They really were awful, weren't they? I was *this* close to actually engaging the Nazi Salute troll, which is something I try to avoid. I only hope that when they do something stupid that they regret, they're surrounded by better people than themselves.

Caps are firing on all cylinders, but it's hard to get excited. I've been burned too many times with epic collapses in the playoffs

My advice would be to not give people unsolicited advice. There's tons of really valuable wisdom in the responses to this comment, and most of it probably comes from those times that we screwed up/hit rock bottom/had things fall apart. Would any of us have really learned these lessons if somebody just told them to…

Aside: Strip clubs really are super weird and uncomfortable, right? How come, when I walk through the doors, social conventions about openly gawking at people go away?

My father-in-law is a real estate appraiser, and his job routinely involves taking pictures of the property he is appraising. He tells a story of this one time he had to appraise a day care center. Took pictures like normal, and as he was wrapping up his work when a cop car rolled up. Apparently, somebody saw him…

My wife used to work at an elementary school, and she could just never understand why there were just certain things that I refused to do if I was dropping by her classroom after school. Sorry Mrs. Moleman, but when I get there, I'm calling you on your cell phone and you have to come to the front door to let me in. …

But you're not factoring in the savings you get in your shoes/socks budget after you lose both legs to diabetes.

For me, I just really hate monthly recurring expenses. I understand that for some things, if I did the math, I'm being irrational, but there's just something about having to pay in perpetuity that just drives me absolutely nuts. I'd much rather buy a track or an album outright and be done with the transaction, than…

I just loved that whole sequence at the morgue and grave so much. I still can't believe that we can get such dark, morbid humor on a primetime network show.

Good, nothing builds momentum better than a 3-month gap in new episodes!

It's those TV networks billy and the clonesaurus…One quality show after another, each one more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once - just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't, they won't let me live.

I don't remember a comedy pilot that I was more impressed with than The Last Man on Earth. So dark, yet so funny, all while on a major network. I also don't think I can remember a steeper drop-off in quality after the first 2-3 episodes or so. The middle of Season 1 got really rough. I was on the fence on just…

Way to bury the lede, here AV Club. The real story here is that you are apparently in favor of letting an eccentric billionaire build his own private planet-destroying super-weapon.

Three trombonist jokes without a single boner pun? Well done.

Me too! How many payments do you have left?

God and Satan got together to really fuck up Job's life, but that was more of a friendly bet between rivals.

Thanks, although now I see that I misread the original post. I thought there were only 10 signs of the apocalypse, but at 2-3 signs per part, we could be looking at 20-30 different signs. That seems a little too complicated for the end of the world. I'm starting to wonder if "Local Crazy Monkey" truly is a…

Well now I want to read parts 2 & 3. It sounds like the first three signs of the apocalypse have already come to pass. What if the next seven are happening right now??