I do my best.

I'm surprised they dumped this turd in a January release.  This is the kind of twaddle geeks and the unimaginative of America clamor for and could easily have a #1 week in September.  I actually overheard some shitbird gibbering to his geek trenchcoat-attired buddy about how cool this was gonna be in line at Subway…

A Master P film makes a Rudy Ray Moore film look positively dignified in comparison.

No, you're thinking of Steven Seagal probably.

That film was ""Yes, Madam" (on Netflix Instant I believe). She got her start in HK flicks and those are the only ones worth watching, just for the amazing fight scenes.  Homegirl had moves, but her acting made Bolo Yeung seem like Laurence Olivier.

You're obviously not familiar with the oeuvre of Master P.

The reviewer stole my meager thunder when he referenced Cynthia Rothrock in the last sentence.  *sigh* I've been outsnarked again, curses upon your house AVClub!

We have the same problem in the States.  We call it Spring Break.

and the occasional artfully framed, and non-graphically depicted, bush.

Judging by that picture, it seems he's retiring so that he can devote all his time to frolicking in his olympic-sized swimming pool filled with cash.

Using Spanish style punctuation to bracket a question in English as a sort of visual metaphor of the album title is the worst kind of sophomoric artiness.  Oh wait.

What if I were to call her an outmoded over-politicized (yet remarkably irrelevant) harpy who is the musical equivalent of stale patchouli and unsightly face piercing?

I don't remember if it was produced in Japan, but it definitely could not be considered anime.  I also consider that show to be the best adaptation of a comic book ever (hell it was better than the actual comic).

verging on moderately nonplussed.

I thought it was a Xenomorph.

Does said remembrance give you "Good Vibrations"?

Whenever we needed money, we'd put a pilot on basic cable. To us, it was better than Citibank.

Poor people think??? Surely, you jest.

If I were the entrepreneurial sort, I would package all of these songs in a deluxe compilation entitled "Music for Assholes" and make a killing.

Oh hello there Rick Santorum.