"tell the Tarzan story as if it actually happened" — or you could just watch "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan," especially if punishing dryness appeals to you

That's not blackface — that's Red Skelton's famous Tramp clown!

Even white boys got to shout, Baby got back!

Stiller's going to end up like Gene Wilder in "Silver Streak."

he's taking home less than you think (but still too much)
Bruce Campbell from "If Chins Could Kill" (regarding his payday for "Army of Darkness"):

Hey, don't worry about SP. A small movie based on an obscure indie comic doesn't have to make a lot of money to recoup its costs. I'm sure it's doing just fine. … Wait, what? This movie cost $85 million???? Holy mother of god, who green lit that?? This isn't like "Battleship" which should easily make back its…

Yes, The Fixx did look pretty cool in comparison to these guys.

Pardee Theory: "Auto Focus" is the real-life story of a famous TV star who became obsessed with anonymous orgy sex and then was brutally murdered. You expected this to be a sexy movie? If so, maybe you'll have high hopes for "Star 80."

I hate Maggie Gyllenhaal but that photo Kim Jong referenced is cute. You boys need to grow up; if you ever get married you'll be damn lucky if your wife looks that good at 30.

Aja
When all my dime dancing is through, I run to you.

Eric Schmidt: "I actually think most people don't want Google to answer their questions," he elaborates. "They want Google to tell them what they should be doing next."

Wikipedia's definition of perjury: "Perjury [is lying about] matters material to a judicial proceeding." Since Congress is not a court and exists in its own legal sphere, it's unclear whether one can actually commit perjury before it. Unfortunately, people simply accept that Congress has these magical powers.

Wow, firsties and secondsies. You should have kept jamming on that button.

.
Shia LeBeouf is so big in Hollywood he's known by one name. And they say there is no god.

The Godfather was already remade with jews; it was called "Once Upon a Time in America."

"When a player has four houses on each property of a complete color-group, they may buy a hotel from the Bank and erect it on any property of the color-group. … Only ONE hotel may be erected on any one property."

Before "Casino Royale," "The World Is Not Enough" was the best of recent Bond movies (best in the last few decades). Some people have liked "Goldeneye" retroactively due to the videogame, but "Goldeneye" was the first Bond movie that disappointed me when I saw it in the theaters. (Scratch that. "Octopussy" was the…

"cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond, who was famous for" —
Vilmos Zsigmond should be familiar to Year of Flops readers:

"single-handedly democratized the filmmaking process" —
You know better than this. Successful homemade low budget movies have been around since forever. "Night of the Living Dead" and "The Evil Dead" and "Equinox" (1970) are a few good examples; something like "Grass" or "Mr. Motorboat's Last Stand" might be good…

"lowest form of white trash" — is that like "lowest form of n igger?"