I dream that Alan/Nick's wife will be played by Jean Kasem.

Disclaimer: Judge Perd is not an actual judge.

Get off my lawn!

Ben. His stupid surprised face and dance at the GoT throne is my happy place.

That what happens on the highway to the calzone zone

The callback at the end was great…"Who *is* watching our kids?" "They're with my mom."

It is the herpes of craft supplies.

I grew up in Orlando. How dare you disdain our artisinally grown racist inbred meth users for those further north? Those ones might as well be from south Georgia!

You're not the guy. The guy who has a good attitude towards menstruation.

It's the sad, resigned look in his eyes as he offers it up. I almost peed.

I really can't see her naming one Antonin. I can see Ben desperately begging to name one of the boys Luke. Or Tyrion.

Craig asked her to give a talk to the new interns because she started as an intern. She talked the one intern into leaving. Then Craig gave her a talking to and she got him a whole mess of other interns to make up for the one who left.

If he cared about being the butt of jokes, he'd be so filled with…rage, he might have another fart attack. And then no one wins.

April and Andy's doll insane asylum is gonna be worth so much money soon.

In college, I had to take down one of the clocks in my apartment when my parents came to visit. We had 2 clocks, one with a little placard underneath that said "Real Time". The other was set to 4:20 with a little placard that said "All the Time". Oh, college.

Turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile.

You're after his sperm, aren't you?

I heart you right you now. You and your WW quotes.

I just find the kid who smoked some weed, ran track, played football, was an EMT, and yet stayed in the honors program, made sure his friend's boyfriend bought her a birthday present because it was important to her, helped out his ex by checking out her car after she had an accident, who even the people who were trash…

Hey, friend, let me stab you because you've never been stabbed and you should know what that feels like….that kind of no history of violence?