Where does "Emperor" stand?

Nope you'll only get tone and SMPTE color bars if you turn your television on today. It's a July 3rd tradition!

Well spoken it's probably the same. Unless your an ass and say Hy-MAN!

That's right, in my belly.

Waxahatchee sounds like it could be a name of some city in Wisconsin. Except it'd be spelled "Waksauhatchee."

The objective, factual parts that conflict with his unwavering beliefs.

Agreed, did you see they haven't even posted a story how Trump stopped that asteroid from destroying San Francisco (a liberal-haven I might mention!) with his super strength and laser vision?! Or how Mitch McConnell was able to secure funding for that nice boy down the street who lives in the mansion to attend Harvard…

I am intrigued, how do I become a contestant, mail in three pieces of cheese with my name and address written on them in sharpie?

Speaking of local politics, they need to re-pave the sidewalks near the railroad crossings downtown! It rained fairly heavily and I ate shit twice riding my bike afterwards crossing them due to the loose rocks and dirt. Sure you might blame me for going absurdly fast while I was crossing them, but I blame Ayn Rand's…

Just suffer a joint injury and wait for it to swell up during the atmospheric pressure changes, it's the only scientifically proven way to be 100% accurate with your forecasts

I wonder if you could trick a less intelligent person into agreeing with an absurd statement by saying something like "Hillary's emails were a legitimate threat! You remember what happened to Taft, right?!"

Not on purpose, no

Do they spin the wheel with their scrotum skin or do they use their hands?

Mr. Greene pointed out, much like Admiral Piett's buddy on that super star destroyer, it's "TOO LATE!"

They do have a "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver" tag in the FILE UNDER thing just before the comments.

He shows up sometimes like 12 hours after the fact

What does Digable Planets have against un-digable planets like Jupiter and other gas giants?!

Can we get someone to flip over the Candyland board in a fit of rage? How do we do that?

No it's TRON Guy not TRONC.

Pfft, like I'm going to trust a media company named Sinclair.