Actually, I did. Jesus, Family Guy.

I loved the Bas-Lag novels, but Kraken is hampered by being almost impenetrably British.

It wasn't even a joke about a kid being kidnapped by a pedophile! It was just, "So a pedophile with a gun comes in and kidnaps a boy."

I just want to confirm that the part about Chris being kidnapped at gunpoint to presumably be raped by the old pedophile is indeed a thing that somebody put in a cartoon.

The funniest thing is that the premise could have been created by a robot from the fifties. THE HUMAN MALES SHALL RAISE CHILDREN. THIS IS THE TASK OF THE HUMAN FEMALE. RESULT IS HUMOR.

Those were painful to read. How do they cultivate that perfect tone of 'hilarious' chain emails forwarded by your mom?

I've read that Charlie Brown is bald because in ye olden times when the strip began, a character being bald was a sign of dopeyness. I think I read it in a Cracked article, though, so grain of salt.

I'm happy with not knowing about Joelle having a burned face or not, but I really, really want to know what is the deal with the thing about a knife in a bathroom mirror.

Oh god there is no excuse for how hard I laughed at that.

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again makes an interesting point about the fanatically gleaming white cruise ship as a symbol of comfort against the massive, constant engine of decay that is the sea.

Raoul is played by the same guy who was Nite Owl in Watchmen. I can't deal with that. NITE RAOUL.

Not to mention the whole thing with Tyrion and Tysha.

Damn Charles Dance for making me like an asshole like Tywin.

One of my favorite lines from the riot was cut, though not entirely surprisingly.

I was actually surprised that they got through whole scenes with Meg in them sans cheap shots at her. For FG, that's doing well!

Never before has catching the last 15 minutes of a random episode of a  show convinced that I have been missing so much.

Really? I kept wading through the dumb sex, waiting for a plot to happen, and it didn't.

Beast with a Billion Backs became kind of disturbing when it turned out it was about transdimensional date rape.

Didn't they flat out apologize for that one?

Duly corrected. What a weird game.