Film's greatest asshole belongs to Gianna Michaels.

Why the hell would I want to free-climb a mountain when I could just Jumper myself up to the top?

His character in The Squid and the Whale.
One of film's greatest assholes.

We already have the X-Presidents courtesy of Robert Smigel:

Oof, that's an awful version of the sketch, here is a far better transfer:

This choice shows inspira-shawn.
He is a talent with imagina-shawn.

@FindingCoffee

That's too bad about Paul…
…you see what happens, Edgar Wright? You see what happens when you let these two brave boys go out alone with no one but Greg Matolla and a Seth Rogen-voiced CGI creature to shepherd them through?!?

@Eric Ripert

Sure it was stupid. It was also funny as hell. Stupid jokes need the most attention.

@Miller

"Now get me a waiver to sign…"
"…the world has to be educated about Blurry-Face Syndrome."

And whenever a news item is not on screen, every commenter should be asking "Where's that news item?"

No, Landstander. Every news item deserves to be written hastily and posted as quickly as possible in 72-point, bolded, italicized ALL CAPS with Drudge Siren gifs flanking them.

Thank you, Gimmick Stan Lee. Your talented wordsmithery has made this bad news far easier to bear.

I fucking love Gimmick Stan Lee.

I'm sending them my hot Muppets spec: Terra Grover.

Terra Ovah.

At the very least, you probably won't be getting as much fanboy vitrol for this review as you have for other titles. So that's good.

"But I'm only five…"
"ten, twenty…*forty* minutes? That's pretty damn late!"