I'm sure the commenters will appreciate this fun little sto-

OK, Mike Huckabee.

OK that doesn't even rhyme.

[Shemp Hemsworth continues to wait for a call from Variety]

I want to die.

Honkys need to keep an eye on Porzingis.

The thing about PewDiePie is that first you think to yourself "boy that's a dumbass name." Then you hear him say it and you're all "please god, I no longer want to live…please end the misery that is my continued existence."

Nah, white people no longer get to claim him ever since he started showing up to games with a to-go plate his wife fixes for him.

There are many great white basket balling folks, like Matthew Dellavadova and uh, Steph Cur- wait what?
- Rush Limbaugh Sean Hannity look just pick any loud mouth conservative fuccboi

[waits for new commenter Candace Cameron Left the View Behind]

Can you explain to me how this is like Game of Thrones?

That's some damn fine comment-user avi synergy right there.

Our best hope for his cabinet picks still remains a Three Stooges scenario where all of them get stuck trying to go through the door at the same time.

I'll miss all the free porn but I think it's our only choice.

Fuck anybody who expects you to do lots of work instead of just letting you take a knee and run out the clock this month.

Gotta go, my damn wiener kids are reading this.
-Katie Rife

[Gary Johnson punches hat]

"It took them years to finish "Chinese Democracy?" That's why we need to keep jobs in America. Sad!"

"One in a Million" is still good though.
-Trump

Hmmm should clarified solo career. Well, guess it's suicide for me.