I was so geeked at the return of Venturestein - seriously, I've been waiting like seven years for that - and then Sonny and Ted showed up and I nearly passed out.

20 years ago my best friend and I were supposed to go see the Dead Milkmen in La Crosse, WI and got kiboshed by his dad. Friday my friend flew up and we saw them together at First Avenue. It was the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve had in a long time. I can’t believe how much energy Rodney Anonymous has in…

A sequel to my all-time favorite episode that mashes up Apocalypse Now and The Island of Dr. Moreau with a return to action for HELPeR and a cameo from Ro-Man from Robot Monster. Holy goddamn fuck, this show. This is everything I could have ever asked for.

I was in a wedding once where the bride and groom were Christian enough that there was no alcohol at any stage of the event. We did a three-hour rehearsal at a church, then drove to another church for the bachelor party, which consisted of playing basketball and watching 'Gladiator.' The closest thing to liquor at the…

We did pie instead of cake at my wedding too, partially because my wife and I like pie better than cake and partially because we were young and poor and it was cheaper to make a bunch of pies than make/buy a fancy wedding cake. I stand by our decision.

@avclub-3db41011acc2d229176bf6a92202728d:disqus Hell, I used to live in a relatively crime-free neighborhood of New Orleans and even there we had terrifying packs of wild dogs roaming the streets. I can only imagine what it would be like with no kind of animal control.

"Watch this, I'm about to make myself unpopular with the Chicago Police Department."

Bill Cosby's in Jack. He's a very funny fellow, right?

Yes. This is correct.

Another Murphy's Law of television: the one time your mom actually sits down to watch one of your favorite shows, it will ALWAYS be the least appropriate episode to watch with your mom. Pretty sure my mom thinks I exclusively watch shows about pedophilia based on the Venture Bros, Childrens Hospital and South Park…

Where did you even get that?

As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

That's too high-caliber a cast, Mr. Rambis, but otherwise I agree. This should've been a '70s Larry Cohen or William Lustig movie starring, say, Woody Strode, Joy Bang and a Carradine or two.

You're my new counterpoint when people bag on millennials, especially millennial Asians.

In all sincerity, one of my favorite lyrics ever by anyone.

Don't make them run, they're full of chocolate!

I didn't say they couldn't, I said you shouldn't!

If not, there's probably a pretty solid chance of finding some free goo.

Seriously, who wants to pay for this when you could stay home and eat 64 slices of American cheese?

Give him a few years on the amateur boxing circuit.