Eh, I'm going to skip not-seeing the movie.

Tampon-shaped tea infusers would be a great novelty item

I was hoping someone would follow up with some fanfic set in a world where people have read my fanfic, so that we can get yet another iteration for @Scrawler2:disqus !

Junior Stitts R. Normous

And as I wrote the final line of my daily 50 Shades fanfic post, I gingerly logged off of my MacBook and graciously turned off my bright—it seemed bright-as-the-sun!—Ikea lamp.

And her aunt, Gimmeya Rodd.

Yep. That's when Fifty Shades jumped the shark.

They apparently give book deals to anyone who can write a sex scene, so why not?

Never use Olestra as anal-play lube.

"Oh yeah? Tell me what you'll do with those beads."

You guys like it but… do the songs sound more like "1901" or "Fences"? Songs like Fences are okay, but without those synthesized bass blasts, Phoenix isn't quite worth it for me.

Hi Erica!

What shadow?!?!

No kidding around, I had a lot of trouble following Transformers 2

If you fast forward a Michael Bay movie, you are that much closer to seeing a good movie.

Dodgeball: 2 Jokes

Are you Salad Fingers?

Hi five! I lost mine in 2004, too! I'm 42!

Dodgeballs: Redder and Slightly Less Inflated

I hate the Sonic Drive-In Youth. They hang out at the one in Pinecrest Center where they dress just like the car hops (hint: they are on skateboards instead of roller skates). They are a really annoying mix of punk-rock and avant-garde: they steal your money and then bring you nasty organic food.