Today in depressing remake news
is rapidly becoming a daily feature.

Bites a hooker!

Puts up a brick!

Yeah, I saw that in the theaters. If Jurassic Park one is good, part two would necessarily be twice as good.

Weren't the Christ Punchers a bowling team?

Also, my original comment should have been, "Lady Uranus, you got some 'splaining to do!"

Fuck, I'm an asshole!

In "Dying to Belong," follow the girl who gets owned in "Million Dollar Baby" and Six from "Blossom" on a dangerous voyage of self discovery that looks into the dark under-belly of sorority sisterhood.

Sonic forest, I totally get you now!

Ahhhhh. OK. Tahnks.

Unger is his bro, so he'll bronounce it however he wants.

Also, Bradley Cooper is the perfect actor to play 'Guy who I want to punch in the face,' in any movie. That smug, handsome bastard.

Ari Gold to Shyamalotof'a's: "Indians and improv, no greater match."

This interview needed an Amelie.

"R. Kelly news aggregator"
Bill Gates, if you're working on this, Stop.

Please be nice to the girl. She programs her TiVO herself!

They do all look alike.

Please remake more things no one has ever heard of.

I'll be the guy wearing bagg'ns with suspenders. Look for me.

I'd never heard of him, and I read like a mofo. A hyperliterate mofo.