But…why?

As I always say, if it's not Baroque, don't fix it!

Dane Cook won't, that's for sure.

He was George of the Jungle.

I thought it was "Swag Onion."

Jesus, not just internet vitriol. Real-life vitriol, too.

So that's why Rob Lowe's hair looked so awful for the first couple episodes of Parks and Rec this season.

Yes, actually.

Napoleon Dynamite was the shit when I was in fifth grade.

Farmer?

BLARRGHHHARGGGARGHHH

An odd couple, even!

NO COMEDY PLEASE.

OH YEAH

That"s why I saw Unstoppable.

it's like the opposite of the opposite of Batman.

"My name is Bergerrapist Rapistberger, and I am outlawing all toys! Except the sexual ones. The sexual ones are ok."

I try to stick to "that filthy rapist asshole." Which is awkward as a Steeler fan.

Don't forget its hyper-specific Laurence of Arabia tribute, which featured a dramatic sequence where Tommy went back across the blacktop to rescue Chuckie, thus earning the name "Al Reptar".

I nearly fell off my couch at "weathered possum-king."