I grew up on The Muppet Christmas Carol, so that when I read the Dickens version in middle school my reaction was a "meh." Followed by a "where are the penguins?"

I often hold my belly and shake with laughter while watching Community.

Excuse me, Steve, let me pick up that name you just dropped.

The material wasn't the only thing he elevated, if ya know what I mean.

Crash Team Racing!
(holds up playstation controller)

I think Pearls Before Swine used to be a lot funnier, before it got obsessed with its own universe and threw Stephen Pastis in every other strip.

STEELERS!

I always assume that you're ObsceneCoachTaylor, or whatever the name is, and get confused when I don't see that we need clear motherfucking eyes and full motherfucking hearts.

Haha. Tom and Jerry. Haha.

The question, Bender, is not when will Cougarton Abbey return, but WHE-

JULIE TAYLOR IS A SLUT!

I hope they'll do an episode satirizing the jet-pack craze sweeping the nation in 2015.

You just made me sad.

Well shit. I thought it was Tuesday.

Adele is objectively awesome. Don't make me disembowel you.

Newsflash: there is no way to say "newsflash without sounding like a pompous asshole.

Any time I see The X Factor referenced, I just wish that it was a show where people were given Chemical X, which made the Powerpuff Girls.

How innocent is shit, exactly? Babies shit, so that's pretty innocent, I guess. Then again, people who kill babies also shit. But does it really matter from whence the shit came? It's just as shitty either way. Maybe shit is the only truly innocent thing left in this world, marred only by infections and occasionally…

Absolutely. Mike Chang has been gaining bangability recently though, just by seeming like a decent human being with really nice abs.

If you don't send her to an all-boys school, the odds of this happening decrease.