I'm going to miss this if Kinja tears the site apart, I really am.

"On the other hand…THERE IS NO OTHER HAND!"

The auctioneer does not agree and he tells them so.

How will he be able to tell whether a woman is worth existing in his airspace if he can't rate her attractiveness?

Dear Mr Trump,

Now he'll just grouse about shit he heard on the radio.

If only they could still afford Secret Service protection, an agent could have leapt between him and the sun.

FAKE HEADLINE. I don't have the kind of scratch to spend on this.

"We at The Clamp Network hope you have enjoyed our programming. But more importantly, we hope you have enjoyed…life."

I mean, I'll give it a shot. As much as I love the little society here, I'm not, like, overly principled about it or anything. If it works okay and enough people stay, I'll stay. If it doesn't I'll just probably taper off rather than do a big I QUIT! thing.

I'll miss you all terribly if you leave. Or if I end up leaving…

And that we found out. It seems so unlikely that there would be a trail of breadcrumbs, and that anyone would bother to follow it, but I guess it all happened.

I've not see you around for a while. Did you see that people actually liked Wonder Woman?

I've got an average of 5-point-something to every comment and I'm hoping this will be enough that I become one of the Kinja chieftains (or "Kingjas") in the new order.

Bill Murray pulls another Garfield. "How was I supposed to know this Stephen Sodaburg wasn't the same guy?"

Would you say that the only way to win is not to play?

I thought those movies were okay, but, like, I wouldn't miss them if they were gone.

REPOSTED WOOKIEPEDIA:
The Brr'puus were a species of desert-dwelling amphibians native to Tatooine. They were noted for their exceptionally long tongues, which they used to ensnare prey, and also their propensity for belching.

"I've spoken with several other patients and they all agree you use the word 'bitch' too often."

My favorite delivery in the first one is at the end when her mom says something along the lines of "I just don't feel like drinking!" in a cheery voice.