I find it hard to believe that a decent person would take a job in the administration at this point. I really can't give someone the benefit of the doubt with everything the public has seen about Trump and think, "Well, they just want to serve their country, probably." It's either, "I've seen horrible things but I'm…

Red Lobster to Applebee's is a bit of a lateral move.

One of the satisfying things in the video I saw is that it doesn't just topple, it kind of crumples. That thing is fuckin toast now, they can't stick that piece of shit back up even if they wanted to.

They'll still be doing them occasionally in 27 years, and you'll try to get into the new stuff but it'll feel faintly sad and embarrassing.

Oh great now it's happened to me!

Then you tried to eat a whole pineapple hanging from a string…

I think Fleek was the monkey sidekick on Space Ghost.

You're like the Jughead of booze!

They mean tech bros, I assume.

Applebee's was condemned on the way to its home planet.

He's at home! Wwwwwashin his tights!!

Not really; everyone seems pretty pleased with this outcome.

Uch, I can't STAND leeks.

I saw Goody Barsanti dancing with the devil!

Hey, I just heard a sound like dozens of AV Clubbers splooging and/or splooshing. Something happen?

Wake me when we get another season of Wonderfalls.

As long as you're getting a whole network, can I get a time slot for a low-budget sci-fi show that I will write and produce? It will cost about what Red Dwarf does.

Six Thousand Degrees of Kelvin Bacon.

To be honest, I'm glad not to be in the path of this thing because I had DON'T STARE AT AN ECLIPSE YOU'LL GO BLIND PERMANENTLY drummed into me as a child when I was living in the path of some early-90s eclipse, and today I would be too paranoid and frightened to do anything but hide out in a basement until it was all…

*Captain America surreptitiously kicks Farmer's Almanac under the couch in Avengers Mansion*