I really hate the contemporary use of text in movies.  Especially for opening and closing credits.  Text cards used to provide a beautiful frame for a story. Just two or three carefully lettered cards with a bit of ominous or light music as the story demands.

In fairness to dumb people, some of the prehistoric cave paintings really aren't very good.  Like the one with just the hand prints. Gorak of the Bog People should have spent less time on his manifesto and more time drawing from life.

Your secret is out! I don't know how you kept the secret for so long, surely there have already been rumours?  Like, people noticing you looking at each other as you pass in the hall, things like that.

Not BSD!  The BSC!  Speaking of the BSC, you might not be too excited to get home and find Kristy has you booked for the Pikes two hours after you get off the plane!  Ha ha!  But not to worry because only three of them have the flu.

Hmmm, I don't know, without Kim Deal the Pixies are just SOME Pixies, not THE Pixies, don't you think?  Bands really shouldn't use their old names if everyone isn't there. Like, okay, right now the BSC is still calling itself the BSC, right?  But it really shouldn't be called that until YOU are back in Stoneybrook! …

Now I'm kind of imagining your vice principal as the cruel one and the principal as the nice one. Like, the principal is kind hearted and can't bring himself to discipline anyone, so the vice principal becomes EXTRA MEAN to compensate.  I'm imagining him now walking the halls yelling at everyone.  Claudia, don't get…

Claudia, that's Sunset Boulevard!  YES you have to see it all, its SO GOOD!  And okay, so much of it is based in reality, its worth reading all about it.  In real life Gloria Swanson actually was a silent movie star, and the butler ACTUALLY was one of her directors!  He's Erich von Stroheim, his movies are brilliant! …

Will you be flying back with Uncle Russ?  You are going to be visiting non-stop during your holiday back home! No time for baseball! You'll be exhausted by the time you get back to your cousin's! Will you have some time to rest before school starts again?

I have a Kobo Touch, and have been using it happily for about two years. I don't use the bookstore, everything I read on it has either come from Gutenberg or are PDFs I've made myself.  Its not necessary to use the software, you can just dump stuff on it like any flashdrive.  Be warned: if Aura has a backlight, don't…

Oh yeah I remember the language tower story!  Its like "How the Leopard Got Its Spots" except people believe it!  Have you ever tried to read old English?  Not even REALLY old, but just like Canterbury Tales?  Its impossible!  Its English but it makes no sense!  Surely the tower people can figure out that languages…

I'm imagining the folding chair he spun around was a lawn chair with arm-rests.

Are Nantuckets the official BSC cookie?  Are they the crumbly kind or chewy kind?

Oh, its one of those movies.  You're right, they all should have dumped Arthur and gone off by themselves.  I like Helen Mirren, too!  She's one of those actors who always is the best part of whatever she is in!  But she isn't in enough things!

Maybe not at first, but I imagine by the time the track ends in the middle of an anecdote and your player shuffles to Amazing Grace, at least a few people will yell "Hey!  Go back to the story of the leaky thatched roof, it wasn't done yet!"

Why did Jennifer Garner's part make you feel ashamed?  Russell Brand sometimes seems fairly clever and articulate, but he has this sleazy quality that just surrounds him, he kind of gives me the creeps.  I don't know if I could watch a whole movie with him since I'm not able to even get through an interview.

Do you mean Lupin from Harry Potter?  He's one of my favourite characters!  Have you watched all the movies yet?  I don't want to say anything about Harry Potter until I know you've seen them all because I don't want to spoil anything.

I am imagining your Janine candy surprise as the ultimate Claudia art project.  Yes, first a base of Crunky Popjoy.  Maybe two coats to ensure a durable working surface?  She is so lucky to have you for a sister!

* misreads instructions *

All these picks are either sincere or ironic.  What about the third option: arbitrary?  My funeral music will be whatever my MP3 player is set to play next.

I think houses do remember people.  I know our old house remembers me because I walked past it and I could just tell.