When I was in Boy Scouts, we sold all sorts of shit…garbage bags, posters, a box full of miscellaneous crap…

I'll say this for Chris Rock…at least he's not demanding that Octavia Spencer stare at a box all night.

Wow…something beat the Holocaust film.

A 2001 British drama called Intimacy.

Mark Rylance, who now has an Oscar to go with three Tonys. He is also the only nominee to have had actual sex on screen in a non-porno.

I guess The Way We Were sort of makes sense for the star of Boyhood…

So the connection between both of these movies is that the montage of each begins and ends with a chorus of kids?

"For people with heart failure, tomorrow is not a given…" Well, for none of us, tomorrow is not a given. Way to bum me out, prescription medicine ad!

This might be the best of the nominated songs, but I really don't want it to win because "Oscar winner Fifty Shades of Grey" sounds about as bad as "Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump" or "Republican Presidential nominee Ted Cruz" or "Republican Presidential nominee Ex Machino Rubio"

She's actually a nominee.

And why couldn't Woody and Buzz present Animated Short as well?

Thin Mints!

If this award had to be given by the stars of an animated film that wasn't nominated, it should have been given by Charlie Brown.

This feels like a bad copy of Ellen's pizza delivery two years ago.

Oh my God…C3PO just officially came out on national TV!

Now this one is truly surprising. This has to be the lowest-budgeted film to win Visual Effects in ages!

Ex Machina!!!!!

I have to say, I feel kind of sorry for the Mad Max cinematographer at the afterparties tonight. "Oh, you were nominated for Mad Max! Congrats on winning! Where's your Oscar?"

And two more awards for Mad Max coming up…

The Minions are on their way…are they trying to get us to turn the channel?